Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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