Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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