Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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