I didn't shave. On purpose
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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