Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
