Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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