it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
