Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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