BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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