I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
