they're like a gay fantastic four
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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