a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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