come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
