The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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