i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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