what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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