singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize