well you can't waste a boner
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
