I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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