I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
