I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
