Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
