Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
