I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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