cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
