guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize