And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
