I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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