You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
