Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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