please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
