Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
