dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
