I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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