Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
