I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
