i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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