Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
