Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How's work?
Spinning.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
