But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
