WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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