You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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