3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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