Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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