Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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