drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My vagina is officially offended.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
