Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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