God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
