This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
