think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
