I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
