i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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