He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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