oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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