One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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