I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize