So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I could fuck to npr.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
