I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i dont even know how to be here
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
