I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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